MamaModeJo

Becoming a Mom — 16 Years Ago Today

Sixteen years ago today, I became a mom.

I was young, a little naïve, and had no idea what I was doing. I remember holding her for the first time — this tiny, perfect baby — and feeling the world shift beneath my feet. Everything that had ever mattered before suddenly faded away. It was just her. And me.

In that moment, I knew I had to be better. Not just for myself, but for her. It’s that oh shit moment every mom talks about — the one where the weight of motherhood hits you all at once. You realize you’re now responsible for a whole human being. Their safety, their happiness, their future — all of it depends on you. It’s terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.

Those early years were a blur of sleepless nights, messy days, and quiet moments where I’d just stare at her and wonder how I got so lucky. But underneath it all, I was learning. She was teaching me what strength looked like. What unconditional love felt like.

And then, somewhere along the way, she gave me something I didn’t expect — courage.

For the first time in my life, I started to see my own worth through her eyes. I wanted her to grow up knowing what love really is — not just in words, but in actions. I wanted her to see that love should never make you smaller, that it should lift you, protect you, and make you feel safe.

It took me being in a relationship with her dad for almost ten years to realize that he wasn’t the one for me. But she gave me the strength to make that decision. To choose myself. To choose her. And eventually, to find someone who truly loved me for me — so that she could see what a healthy, real, kind love looks like.

She was my reason for becoming strong, my reason for growing up, my reason for believing that better days were ahead.

Motherhood is funny like that. You think you’re the one teaching them about life, but really, they’re the ones teaching you. About resilience. About love. About who you really are when life gets hard.

Sixteen years later, she’s grown into this incredible young woman, smart, kind, funny, sassy, strong and every single day, I’m in awe of her. She’ll never fully know how much she changed me, how much she saved me.

Becoming her mom was the best, hardest, most life-changing thing I’ve ever done.
And I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.